The Devil You Don't Know

My career at my current place of employment is going nowhere. They've effectively exiled me to a second-line team and ordered me to get rid of them. They've made plans for me after the team has been let go but it's a situation even worse than what I'm doing right now.

Note to self when in senior management: Never assume your direct reports are as dumb or myopic as you are.

I have a really good guess as to what the company is trying to do but I can't say anything about it. Suffice to say that it doesn't involve the continued employment of effective front-line managers like myself. Everyone competent in middle-management has either been exiled (like me) or laid off. The other clueful managers and I have semi-regular closed lunches where we share intel and our data points to the same conclusion which we all arrived at simultaneously.

All of us have been hunting for other employment for a while now. I've had a few nibbles, all of which I've turned down because of...irregularities between what they say and what I'm gathering from other, more trusted sources. The I.T. industry in my city is quite large but we're also quite provencial - it's a small town where everyone knows someone who knows you.

Until recently, that is. There is a decent possibility that I may land a job with a company on solid financial footing that's smack in the middle of my core competencies. It's at a point where I have to seriously consider the case this may be my next employer. I was in cloud nine until I poked a little deeper and some concerns started popping up, enough that I had a nasty bout of insomnia last night over it.

It's a highly conservative company. Highly. Conservative. It's a great company if you're a certain type of employee. It's also one where you don't want to stick out too much above your paygrade. This is by no means a deal-breaker; in fact, I know my way around conservative companies very well. Given the current economic situation, it's a very good employer indeed - I'm grateful that I'm managed to come this far in the interview process. Of course, I hope to be fortunate enough to land the actual job! The norm is that I just need to keep my mouth firmly shut, my head down and go from objective to objective, hoping that I get promoted.

Unfortunately, that's not me anymore. It was me about 5 years ago but it's definitely not my style any longer. Oh, I'll keep my mouth shut - I understand that I can give the most endearing smiles that way. But being safe? Being safe is like refusing to fly, staying in the mud on the ground because you're afraid of falling.

I took a big risk some years back. It's been tough, but at least now I have moments of happiness and these moments are starting to increase in frequency. I'm not going to be stupid about this new position (if I get it) but being in my new role (post-change), I can't afford not to be seen. To hunker down and do work quietly is to be ignored. I have to strike a balance between techincal competency and management visibility. I have to be seen as very knowledgeable and effective at my work while also having a dazzling smile. People have to remember me not only about how quickly I solve issues but also how calm and poised I was while doing it. Tall expectations. Thank goodness I have just the high heels to match and not just metaphorically either.

Of course, my local work environment has a lot to do with how things are. I'm keeping my fingers crossed not only about getting the position but also about who I'm reporting to there.

I feel my career clock ticking away. I have, at most about 10 more years of good income earning years ahead of me and I must make enough and save enough not only to retire but also to care for the kids' education and whatnot.

Yes, I'll deal with the Devil himself but I'm going to try my darnest not to lose my soul over it.