Growth

The past year and a half has been this long marathon through life with many dark valleys and hazards. I've finally gotten to a spot where I can catch a breather and take stock.

Of course, life decides to start teaching me again in the only way it knows how: challenges, crises and change. I think the fact that I've begun dancing ballet again has helped in my outlook in life quite a bit. It's very vigorous physical exercise and I can feel my stamina slowly increasing. It's also motivated me to treat myself better, something I've been neglecting quite a bit.

On the emotional front, I've had the chance to reflect on my life somewhat. I'm trying to learn from the past and while I have difficult times ahead, I think I can almost see a clear path forward now. It's going to take a lot of effort and there will be many changes to come, not just for me but also for my family. There was a major turning point in my life several years ago when I chose to stop running away from trouble. I feel that another such juncture is coming up once more, except that I'm a little older, sadder and wiser this time.

Staying positive is hard. I used to think that people who have a continually positive outlook in life as being slightly touched in the head. I don't believe people should be as hyperactively positive like a squirrel on crack but some optimism is needed to carry on through the dreary stretches, methinks.

I had an argument with a good friend tonight. It saddens me that there will need to be some distance between us now but that's the way the cookie crumbles. On the bright side, it's helped me realize a few lessons on the nature of friendship and how it applies to me. Acceptance is important; without it, there can be no friendship. Growth can hurt sometimes but I'll make sure that this lesson is learnt swiftly so it doesn't hurt as much next time.