I am expecting this to be a polarizing post. Half of you will understand and relate. The other half won't get it at all. But you will...
A good friend of mine once remarked that he didn't want to ever be like his dad, who apparently led a very boring life. We were both young at the time and I agreed wholeheartedly with him then.
That was over 10 years ago. Now I'm in my mid-thirties and I've discovered something quite terrifying. Being boring? It's not really a choice. It's our destiny for most of us. Back when we were younger, we had more time and energy to do what we wanted. We were also unburdened by familial responsibility. These days, I have young children to care for, bills to pay, chores to do and a mounting sense of desperation that there isn't going to be enough to go around someday. So, after working at the office for the entire span of daylight hours here in frozen Canada, I'm tired. I go home and all I want to do is melt into bed, a sentiment my sister shares, I'm sure.
Looking through 21 year-old eyes, I lead an exceptionally boring life. I have no real social life to speak of during weekdays. I'm running around doing errands most weekends. My one indulgence recently? I registered for a precision knife techniques class so I could do meal preparations faster without chipping my nails. Good grief, I've gotten *old*.
Nevertheless, I intend to make the most out of this time no matter how boring it is. Why? In 10 more years in the future, I'm going to have even less energy than I do now so I should probably make the best of it while it lasts. Well, assuming that I don't sell the kids and spend it all in an orgy of shopping and dining in Europe, that is. Hmm...
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2 comments:
Kate-
I hate to disagree. Well, actually I'm kind of used to it, that mud wrestling with a pig thing :-)
Anyhow, although it is true for some people, most people shouldn't be tired in their mid 30s. I was there some time ago. And I've got an 80 year old aunt that completely blows away your ideas about energy levels and age. I've found that there are two major factors in your energy level: 1)Physical condition and b)Mental condition. The better shape you are in, the more energy you will have. At any age. Period. The mental part is more iffy. You've obviously been going through a lot. And stress is an energy killer. Wanting to get to sleep because you want to wake up and do things tomorrow is energizing. If you're really looking forward to the future, it's amazing how long you can keep going without getting tired. Nothing like a positive attitude to keep you going.
I think that you're also discovering that having control of your life makes a big difference. Not having control adds a lot to the stress, and kills your energy.
Step 1: Excercise. Improve your conditioning. Guaranteed to help your energy levels. Also generates endorphins, which make you feel better. Which help with,
Step 2: Find reasons for wanting to get up the next morning. Even better, hard to wait until the next morning. You say that you're on a path. Can you believe that that path will make you happy? It's important to find something that you think will make you happy. Not just end the regrets. Yes, this is hard. You have to live for the future, not dwell on the past. Yes, think about it, try and understand it, but then move on. Embrace your new life.
This may seem simplistic (and I'm certainly not suggesting that this is the answer for everything.), but so is "exercise more, eat less". Just because it's simple doesn't mean it's wrong - or easy. But I think it's a great place to start. Get in good shape and find things to look forward to. On the bright side, even if I'm wrong, that's not a bad place to be. Of course, that will probably be the end of the blog...maybe a good thing for us all :-)
Thanks for the words of advice, dear. I think your (previous?) passion has given you a unique perspective of a birds-eye view whereas most of us are still blundering around on the ground. :)
I'm not sure I'm really past the regret stage yet but I'm sure I'll eventually progress to being happy. As you noted, there's a lot going on right now, so one step at a time.
I'm actually eating less and exercising (well, walking) a lot more. We'll see where it leads..
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