There comes a time in one's life when we have to choose which path to take. For most people, there are multiple decision points, some more important than others.
One of them is to choose whether to be loving and vulnerable or selfish and predatory. Yes, there are other shades in between - I'm just simplifying for the sake of brevity here.
I've tried the former and it does not seem to be working. I'm dismayed that it appears that the more loving you are, the more people will use that as an excuse to maltreat or undervalue you, sometimes both.
I've definitely also tried the latter in a past life and it doesn't work either. Even though the latter is a failure, it hurts far less than the former.
I have some soul-searching to do it seems. To be loving and constantly get screwed over, or be selfish and find myself alone. Perhaps the fact that I'm getting screwed over means I need to get better friends and family, a fresh start perhaps where no one knows who I am. Or perhaps it's the depression talking. Either way, it isn't working.
There's a change coming. I don't think anyone, including myself, will like it.
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3 comments:
If you feel there are people taking advantage of you or screwing you over I'd suggest you need to deal with THOSE people and situations in particular. My own experience would suggest that it is perfectly possible to be loving and vulnerable without being downtrodden.
I'm here for you, if that helps and I like the new Kate better than the old one FWIW.
Bob is right. If there are people that you feel like you need to be predatory towards and get back at, get new people. Acting that way doesn't make you feel good. Don't act that way. You don't need a lot of friends. Just good ones.
-Gary
"Even though the latter is a failure, it hurts far less than the former." - I disagree, I think it just hurts you in different ways over time.
I will agree with Bob and Gary, there are options and figuring out who the good friends are is a step towards staying loving and open (I will say open here because sometimes we think of being vulnerable as a negative trait). Sometimes changes need to be made. Your good friends will help you through that.
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