The doubts are creeping in now. I'm a terrible dancer. I'm uncoordinated. I've no feel for the music. I have serious balance issues. I'm too old. I'm overweight. And the list goes on and on.
Fortunately, the INTENSE PAIN in my feet is focusing me somewhat.
No, I'm not pushing too hard. Just getting serious about it.
I received the authorization from my sis to purchase a mirror and a barre today. So I swung by IKEA after work and bought a large Stave mirror. My sis had originally suggested the Hemnes but the frame was quite thick. Fortunately, IKEA stores have these paper measuring tapes so I went around measuring the actual mirror area of their selection instead. Yes, I'm that picky.
Trying to fit said mirror into my car was a bit of an adventure but I didn't name her the Hypercube for nothing. I got the mirror home and set it up temporarily in the living room.
My word, it's big! I tried out a few battement tendus in first with both legs and I still fit completely in the frame throughout. Ballet class is so hectic that I rarely have a chance to see what I'm doing in the hall mirror. Now that I can watch myself, I'm starting to understand where my errors are and correcting them. Whether I'm correcting them properly is to be determined - I guess I'll find out in the next class.
I'm still a terrible dancer but now I can see my mistakes in glorious full-colour 2D! To be honest, it's rather depressing and when I'm depressed, I tend to eat unhealthy things. Tonight, I haven't had anything unhealthy. Watching my sis eat her ice cream was...challenging. But I stood firm.
Gods, I'm hungry. No, I'm not starving myself - I've had very unhealthy eating habits lately and am correcting them. I'm hungry not because I'm hungry but because I'm used to a nighttime snack. That needs to stop and it has.
I'm trying to work out a way to purchase a barre for home practice (thanks, sis!). I'm of two minds about this as there are contradictory opinions about whether practicing at home is a good idea or if it'll promote bad habits that are hard to correct. However, my balletmistress is exhorting us to practice at home so I'm going to follow what she says.
I've come to the awareness that I'm obsessing over this. As I was mentioning to my sis, I've gotten through life by assessing matters then choosing the best course of action. It's gotten me pretty far in life doing that. This time, however, thinking about things isn't going to help. Either I can dance properly and well, or I can't. Intelligence has nothing to do with it at all. This...makes me uncomfortable as I have never done well when it comes to physical activities. My instinctive response is to assess matters then choosing the best course of action...which eventually loops around into an obsession. This too shall pass, when I either get tired of gravity having its way with me, or if I actually start dancing properly.
We shall see where this goes, I suppose.
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4 comments:
You have not been working at this for very long my dear, and for that reason I encourage you to fight off those doubts! You are still building the muscle memory and the skills and that will take time.
A suggestion, if you wish to record / measure your progress per se:
record yourself doing the excersizes now, and then record yourself doing those same excersizes at the end of your course 10 months from now. Progress, which may not be apparant when looking in the mirror everyday, will show through.
Ta, Sue. Actually, I've already got a way to measure progress - if the frequency of my balletmistress poking me declines, it probably means I'm doing well. Or that she's written me off. The secondary criteria to discern which of the two is happening will be whether I keep my balance or not. If I'm stable and not getting prodded as much, it's probably a good sign.
Looking at halebarre.com, if you know someone who is handy with tools you could probably DIY a portable barre fairly inexpensivly.
Thanks for the link! I haven't heard of these folks before, so I'm bookmarking it.
I've already placed an order with www.thebeamstore.com for their adjustable barre. It works out to being just a tiny bit more costly than halebarre.com but I'm willing to pay that slight premium so I don't have to go buy the piping nor assemble it from scratch. I'm all thumbs when it comes to things like this. It should arrive mid-October and I'm clearing an area for my home studio in preparation for it.
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