Lost...and found (Part 2)

I had left a voicemail message with the School's examinations coordinator but have yet to receive a reply. I understand that this is a very busy time for them so her lack of response isn't a surprise. However, I'm impatient so I cheated. :)

I called up the Canadian office that coordinates and administers dance examinations. There, I was fortunate enough to speak to a very lovely lady who not only answered all of my questions but also suggested how I could get around some administrative difficulties that I might encounter. Plus, she was very encouraging which was something I really needed to hear right about now.

Oh, and the verdict is in: older adults can and do take ballet examinations for grading and certification so the Dream is on! The exams are not invite-only per se but they might as well be; my ballet mistress has to judge that I'm a suitable candidate with the requisite level of skill to take the exam first and then she has to recommend me for the test itself. This means that I have to work - hard - to impress my ballet mistress and that's going to be tough. I just found out today that she's one of the top ballet instructors in Canada and has been practicing the art of ballet for longer than I've been alive. She was the prima ballerina for the Royal Winnipeg Ballet, holding that position for nearly a decade. In short, there is no chance I'll make it to the exams unless if I'm really good.

Colour me intimidated. :(

Plus, it's more difficult for us older folk as we're nowhere near as limber as younger folk. As I'm not planning to be a professional dancer, it's not an issue for me. I'm just looking for clear, definitive milestones on my progress as well as a structured education in classical ballet. It'll be nice if I get to perform on stage sometime but I'm not holding my breath. That, and I need to pass the exams first!

I'm excited and feeling tingly all over. This is the first time in decades where I'm doing something just for me that's motivated by fun instead of some serious reason or need. One of my friends think I'm nuts for doing this. It's going to be a long, gruelling road filled with pain, frustration, disappointment and probably a fair amount of tears. And I consider this fun? As a matter of fact, I do. I've come to accept the fact that I'm still very goal-driven and will probably always be so. I hesitate to claim that I'm an overachiever but success is definitely attractive to me. I'm used to success more often than not. I'm also used to a lot of pain and suffering as being the cost to achieve success.

I've had a chance to look through quite a few different forums and not surprisingly, most dancers who start when they're adults fail to go beyond recreational dancing. However, that's due to the fact that they never tried or gave up too soon. Of those who try, most of them fail to make the cut. I know that the odds are stacked against me; I can't let myself consider the possibility of failure because if I did, my resolve will crumble. Call it self-delusion if you will, but I intend to give this Dream a decent go at it, regardless of the odds.

There's a little voice in my head reminding me that I've never been good when it comes to physical matters, not where it counts. The last time I exerted myself in any serious physical activity was back in my university days when I fenced, which was nearly twenty years ago. Furthermore, my health is recovering from the complications of last year (good!) but I'm still fragile right now (not so good). I'm not motivated to take aerobics or other sports. Therefore, dance may just very well be my ticket back to good health once more.

I know here's a lot to do and many challenges to overcome. I've drawn up a practice plan for both my barre exercises and centrework. Practice started today. I'm still terrible at dance: I am the poster girl for proving that gravity works. But I will get better. I hope to someday be that graceful creature that I'm striving to become.