Acceptance

I had a really good chat with my Mom tonight. Ever since I came to Canada, we've chatted at least once a month until my Dad passed on. It's been a little sporadic since then but we've done well in keeping in touch recently.

Looking at it from my mother's perspective, she's had a lot happening in her life over this past decade. All her kids got married. She had her first grandchildren. She saw her children divorcing, reconciling, parting ways and all the drama that comes standard with an extended family spread around the world. Then my Dad succumbed to cancer. Her house has been put up for sale, then not put up for sale and I'm not sure what the current status is anymore. About two years ago, she gets a phone call from me about my Condition. She took it well but it was obvious that it's so far beyond her realm of understanding that it'll take her a while to digest it.

I've been patient. I've been away for so long and changed so much that while I'm aware that I'm not who I was and my mother isn't who she was, I don't think it's really sunk in for her. Her last mental snapshot of who I was was over twenty years ago. I have seen my life changing as I moved from city to city, all the way up until now, helping raise the kids with my sister. Meanwhile, she's still in the same house that she's been living in for nearly forty years. It's hard to grasp change when you're anchored in familiarity.

I had a good time in Victoria recently and snapped quite a few photos. I've always been very camera-shy but never really figured out why until just a few years ago. Now that I'm happy with who I am, I don't mind photos at all. So when my brother asked for one of me, I looked through my Victoria photos and sent him one of the better shots. He's been trying to get that photo to my mother but haven't been able to travel much due to the H1N1 threat in that part of the world. However, he did manage to stop by my Mom's place and drop off the photo last week.

For the first time in many years, my Mom saw an up-to-date photo of me, of which there were precious few until now. I think it must have made real that which she had previously just heard of on the phone and from my brother.

Tonight, for the first time since I told her about my Condition and what the impact of the cure would be, she unequivocally and clearly accepted who I am now.

She told me she's proud of me for overcoming all the challenges, disadvantages and prejudice I've faced to become who I truly am. She's never said that, ever.

I think I'm going to enjoy this warm happy rare glow for a while.