Dr. Standoff or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Orbital Bombardment

*** WARNING: This post contains extensive gaming content with a smidgen of feminism and may not be suitable for all audiences ***

I have started playing Sins of a Solar Empire once more after a very long hiatus. When things get a little too tactical at work, I normally realign my headspace by playing games in my spare time. For many years, it used to be chess. Don't get me wrong, I still love chess. However, I'm not the person I used to be and I find chess to be a little too dry these days. Mind you, I'd play this version.

I know a lot of people who play first-person shooters for relaxation. I used to play those a little bit but never really got into the whole chainsaw-is-the-best-weapon mindset. I just didn't find them fun enough to hold my interest. However, I did get quite a kick from first-person sneakers but I suspect that's probably because it takes a lot more planning and strategy to avoid guards and whatnot as opposed to running into a room with guns blazing. Friends will remember my glee with the Thief series, giggling madly as I struggled to find dark corners to hide the guards that I've blackjacked into sleepyland. Even so, it got monotonous after a while which is why my primary love has been and always will be space-themed or fleet-based wargaming.

There was a time when I forswore all but non-violent gaming. After being bored out of my mind by Tetris and its ilk, I came to the realization that simple games aren't challenging enough for me. I don't play wargames because I like war - quite the contrary, actually. I am a wargamer because they are the most complex form of gaming out there. You don't see shooting games nor casual games coming with a thick manual, do you? I happen to like complex problems in complex environments.

*** Feminist content begins ***
I understand that I am part of a very very tiny minority of women wargamers which makes me sad in the same way that I'm disappointed that there aren't more young women choosing science as their career. Ladies, wargaming isn't hard - if you've survived the Byzantine politics of high school you can probably handle a wargame or two. On the flipside if you're one of those who believe that women just can't handle strategy, please remember that thought when my warfleet of Barbie-pink dreadnoughts are paying a visit to your homeworld to do some radical landscaping?
*** Feminist content ends ***

I have noticed a subtle change however. I used to be focused on hardware (i.e. bigger, faster, nastier ships) whereas I prefer the diplomatic solution these days. Some of you may recall my earlier attempts at diplomacy. I always pursue the diplomatic solution first now. We'll see how this one goes.

What? Oh yes - Sins of a Solar Empire is a great game. It's not too graphically taxing but gods is it ever pretty! My aversion to melee combat has carried over to the game as well because you can take over enemy and unaligned planets without ever firing a shot if you do it right. In the game, you can influence the planet's population to revolt against their present regime if you successfully influence their culture. This generally means that you end up beaming propaganda broadcasts at those planets to slant popular opinion to your side.

Did I mention I used to love my marketing job before I had to return to being a techie?

What's funny is that once you've got a toehold, it's pretty much impossible to reverse so planets will revolt and switch allegiance to you. If you've got a treaty with someone whose planets are defecting to you, it's still well within the terms of the treaty and they can't do anything to you. Well, they get really upset with you and end up attacking you eventually. Of course, then you can play the oh-gods-they-attacked-us-first righteous anger card...and brutally crush them.

Did I mention I used to love orbital bombardment of planets I don't own? As it turns out, I still do...

Anyway, I've sprung for all the micro-expansions for the game, especially the one that boosts diplomatic options. I'm trying quite hard not to bomb anyone back to the Stone Age. No, I merely want their hearts and minds and eventually, their souls. See? You can't do that with first-person shooters. Well okay, perhaps you can get their hearts and minds - literally, if the game engine allowed you to but definitely not ephemeral things like their souls.

p.s. In case you're the curious type: souls taste like grape jello. Mmm...jello!
p.p.s. You get 50 bonus geek-cred points if you know what the title of this entry is spoofing. Be the first to post the correct answer in the Comments to receive said points. :)