I had a good long chat with my friend who is recovering from surgery similar to what I'm scheduled to have. She's had a nasty time of it, with pain-filled days as recovery happens ever so slowly. Despite all that, she's quite cheerful today and she remarked that the day felt odd to her but that she's finally figured out why. She said that she's finally at peace, and that is going to take her a while to get used to.
I understand that that is a common sentiment amongst my fellow sufferers of the Condition, that there is a serenity so deep that can only come post-operatively.
I'm not sure I know what to think of that. I don't believe I've ever felt completely at peace and certainly nowhere near serene. But...it would be quite pleasant to finally rest after what really was a lifetime of dealing with the Condition. And I suspect that very well be the key, that the sense of serenity comes from knowing that that part of my life will be resolved forevermore.
Truth be told, all the problems of life are still there post-operatively: the bills, taxes, work, etc. But, like the Bene Gesserit Litany, where the fear has gone there will be nothing - only I remain.
Meanwhile, I'll just go hide over there under the surgery happens, shall I?
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