Pyres in the Dark

Regular visitors here will notice two things about my last few entries:
1. They're rambling and disjointed
2. They speak directly about the unpleasant breakup of a marriage

No, I am not in the habit of airing dirty laundry in public. I don't think I really am, either - there's not a lot of details posted and that is deliberate.

So why bother posting at all?

My Ex's granduncle was aircrew during the Second World War. He perished when his bomber went down somewhere over occupied Europe during a raid, may his soul rest in peace. It's not something I read up much on but I do remember reading that during large nighttime bombing missions, getting home was easier than getting to the target. No, it's not because the enemy has slacken its resolve; it's because you can always find your way back by following the funeral pyres of bombers that have been shot down on the way there. Their deaths light the way home for their comrades.

Divorce or separation is not something that's pleasant to think about. Most of us don't look at it while we're married. I certainly didn't. But when things go to pieces, they go to pieces *fast* as I regrettably found out first-hand. I'm not advocating that you go out, consult a lawyer and find out everything you can about divorcing your spouse - that can and will be rightly taken as a hostile act, a precursor to the real thing.

No, what I'm trying to convey here is quite simple: enjoy who you're with for as long as you can, preferably up to the "till Death do us part" point. My breakup has been a series of bright flares as parts of my heart disappeared under a barrage of attacks I never saw coming. There is regret too; I'm definitely not blameless here. But you know what's the toughest part? Once the dust settles, there is...nothing. I have no realistic hope of ever being in a loving marriage ever again; the best I can hope for is a quiet retirement alone. My spouse was my first love...and will be my last too.

Cherish your partner. Hold him/her, tell them you love them. Every day.