Strife and Healing

I am in the middle of a month-long argument with someone very dear to me. Unfortunately, from my point of view the dispute involves Love and Trust, two non-negotiable principles for me. As I understand it, her point of view involves a very different kind of Love and her Career, two non-negotiable principles for her.

There is a point in every relationship when the love runs out. For me, that has happened out of self-defence. You can't keep loving someone when it hurts you so badly and that person shuts you out of the matters that hurt you so much by not even making a discernable effort at communicating. I say discernable because I am fully aware that I am not blameless; any relationship failure takes the sins of both parties to happen.

I fear that our relationship has come to an abrupt end and the fallout will take its toll on us and innocents alike for years. We both knew it was a matter of time. I wished that it happened later so that it didn't cause hurt to innocents.

My biggest mistake was not dealing with this head-on sooner. I hate the situation we're in and I hate the events leading up to it. I don't hate the person but it's only a matter of time before I do that too unless if some healing happens, for both sides.

I was faced with a Hobson's Choice: I could either compromise my core values or lose this relationship. I chose the former; no other person is worth losing one's soul over.

For what it's worth, I do wish the other party all the best. I hope she finds love and happiness in what she does and that's an honest hope. I don't think she understands this but I do regret the hurt I've caused her. We've both been hurt enough; it would be good if we started over afresh and healed together. Failing that, we heal separately. The main thing is that we heal.