An uncertain stand

Those of you who know me would have also probably heard about how I stuck by my division and quit in protest a decade ago now. At that time, the Canadian office that I was working in was being shut down and everyone was offered either a transfer with a full relocation package to another country or a severance package. Suffice to say, practically all of us took the relocation package and a few months after they had the chance to suck our brains dry, they closed the division and laid everyone off except us three project managers. It was a distinctly premeditatively evil act, getting folks to transfer to a foreign country, sucking their product knowledge from them then stranding them. My co-workers and friends who were laid off weren't being treated gently either - they were escorted off the premises by security guards and were told their belongings would be put in boxes outside the building at the end of the day. I was the only one of the product managers who quit, walking away from almost a quarter million dollars of stock options in the process.

At the time I was quite proud of my stance. Today, I'm not so sure - yes, I have a feel-good story to tell but wouldn't a quarter mil be better?

I had an extensive interview with a local company this week, multiple rounds of being poked and grilled. I was quite impressed with the setup until I got shown into the founder's office for a presentation on what the business model was. What I got shown is confidential and I'm not discussing it here. However, while they stand to make millions perfectly legally, what they're doing is morally ambiguous at best and outright wrong at worst.

I was quite shaken when I stepped out, both from the grilling and from the shock of knowing that these folks exist. I had a long chat with my sis who was very supportive of whatever I decided.

They responded today, letting me know I wasn't a good fit for them. I have to admit that while I'm a little depressed dealing with the whole rejection thing, a large part of me is glad that I didn't have to make a decision whether to accept or not.

I'm not saying that I'm Ms. Goody Two-Shoes - far from it. If my family were starving, I'd do business with the devil to get them fed. However, while my severance lasts, I have some freedom to make choices that I'm comfortable with.

My basic personal tenet is that whatever I do, I still have to be able to look myself in the mirror in the morning. If I had gone with these folks, I'd be questioning whether I can. I'm disappointed and depressed because I didn't get the job and it was a *cool* job - think of it as being akin to the officer who got to push the big red Fire button on the Death Star. Joking aside...I'm glad not to have to question my humanity.